Head of School's Message: October 2

John Finch
My dad had a dim view of experts. He liked to say, “‘Ex’ is an unknown quantity and a ‘spert’ is a drip under pressure.”
“Someone who lives far away,” was another favorite definition. His background as an engineer, and his ability to fix any plumbing or electrical problem, maintain the car and pursue a carpentry hobby led to his deep-seated conviction that my brothers and sister and I needed to be self-reliant and that we should learn to fix things ourselves.
 
Much of my dad’s ‘do-it-yourself’ gene drowned in my part of the pool. He still loved me despite this practical failing. He thought a career in education was a good fit for me. I think he was being complimentary when he told me that. I can fix a flat tire, change a light bulb, paint a wall and cook eggs three ways, but anything of a more practical nature, and I call on experts.
 
On Thursday, I sat in on a kindergarten parent forum in the Middle School library and listened as parents, faculty and our school psychologist, Clint Daniels, shared parenting and teaching insights with each other. We were not going outside the community to find wisdom or learning. It is already here at Chandler.
 
I don’t mean to be dismissive of the vast network of therapists, psychologists and tutors outside school that can help parents and students when a chronic learning or social problem arises, but listening to people in the library on Thursday reinforced my belief that working together and listening to each other, we can be immensely helpful to one another as parents and teachers. We have plenty of expertise at Chandler. We need to trust our instincts as parents, admit some vulnerability, ask each other for help, and pat ourselves on the backs for being good enough.
 
Everything discussed on Thursday could be applied to students at every grade level. Kindergarten teachers Kerrie Barbato and Jennifer Pappas talked about making students feel comfortable in the classroom with predictable routines. They encouraged parents to set up routines at home that become habits and emphasized the importance of planning decompression time for kids as part of the after-school routine.
 
Kerrie takes photos of how she wants her son’s room to be tidied and pins the pictures to the front door to remind him so she doesn’t have to. One parent purchased a magnetic white board from Lakeshore and set up a short checklist of tasks that her daughter has to complete. Clint Daniels said that a checklist should not go above five items.
 
A mom shared how her kindergarten son schedules decompression time before he starts homework by using Amazon Alexa. As the conversation shifted to teaching students to be self-reliant, one parent said, “I try not to do anything for my daughter that she can do for herself.” Cara Gancedo counseled that if we do everything for our kids when they are younger, we risk delaying adulthood.
 
Lower School language arts and math curriculum directors Connie Mohandesi and Hannah Ross offered ideas about reading and developing number sense. Connie said, “The desire to read is as strong as the desire to walk at an early age. Be careful not to push books that are too advanced on your children. Remember where they are developmentally. Some children are afraid that if they learn to read their parents will stop reading to them.”
 
One mom admitted that her kindergarten son had told her that he didn’t want to learn to read because, in his words, “As soon as I can read, all you will make me do is read, read, read and I won’t be able to play as much.”
 
Parents were advised by Hannah and Cara not to rush their children into the next math algorithm. Math games and reasoning exercises that help to deepen number sense are more important than progressing quickly through the core algorithms. We will get to them in good time.
 
In response to questions about moderating behavior, Chandler’s psychologist, Clint Daniels, an outstanding resource to our community who is always available by e-mail, (cdaniels@chandlerschool.org), suggested that ‘natural consequences’ work well. If students are late getting ready then they may not have as much time to play later. That’s a natural consequence. He advised us to talk to students about taking responsibility for their part in causing a problem and asking them what they can do to make something right. That’s good advice for any age.
 
No one has a monopoly on successful parenting. At Chandler, we do not claim to have all the answers, but collectively we can generate enough experience and wisdom to empathize and offer helpful guidance as we tackle that most challenging of life’s assignments, being good moms and dads.
 
I hope you can join us at the remaining grade level forums.
 
Most sincerely,
John Finch
Head of School
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